Yes I’m a single mum, I have been for the past 7 years or so. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had relationships in all that time, I have. Like any other woman I have needs too but due to previous relationships and other things in my past, I’m now at a place where I couldn’t imagine living with a partner again. At least not whilst my kids are still kids and all at home. I’ve got so used to that bubble of it being me and them that I just can’t imagine that changing. Maybe once they are older and flown the nest, then I’ll feel different. Who knows?
Like most things in life, single parenting comes with it stresses and downsides but… there’s also many positives and good things that go with it too. I’ve listed a few of these below. However please bare in mind that this is just my personal opinion and my personal experience and journey of single parenting.
The Positives!
Yes being a single parent can be fun believe it or not. Here’s why I think so.
My house/my rules
That’s right, as I’m the only parent , what I say goes. I make the rules (not that they always get followed) I decide on routines, bed times, what to buy, what to cook, what to watch, when to clean, do laundry etc. I also decide the best way to deal with any problems. There’s no one else to dictate or tell me I’m doing it wrong. (Except the kids of course)
Lots of Love
Being the main parent means I’m the one who gets to see my kids the most. I’m the one who’s there for them when they fall, when they are upset, when things go wrong. I’m the one they come to with problems and the one who gets the most hugs. I’m the one that they’ll remember being there for them.
I get weekends free
This one doesn’t apply to all single parents but it does to me. Since the kids were very young they have been going to their dads on Saturdays to stay over, sometimes Fridays too. This then means I’m able to relax or have a night out with friends. It’s my free time. A lot of couples with kids may not get this time.
The Not so Good
Of course it has its down sides too. Although I think the positives certainly make me forget these.
It’s lonely
Yes kids can be great company but like most people I do miss having that extra person there sometimes. Someone that I can tell my worries too, someone for advice, someone to come home to or even just someone to make me a nice meal for once.
Money
Kids aren’t cheap. They get more expensive as they get older. They want designer clothes, x boxes, PlayStations, games, GHDs, spending money and so much more. That’s without the costs of the basics such as food and the constant rising costs of just keeping the home warm. One day when they all have great jobs and their own money, I hope they’ll take care of me. But yes they are expensive. I get very little help financially from their dads and I don’t have any family close by. We go on lots of holidays but I save hard for these.
Stigma
Unfortunately even in this day and age, us single parents can’t seem to do anything right. Take a look at any Facebook post that focuses on a single parent family and you’ll see what I mean. If we work full time, we are bad for dumping our kids with strangers. If we don’t work then we are benefit scroungers. If we have a council house they assume we get it for free. And then the old chestnut – where are the kids fathers? Why don’t they help? Like it’s any of their business. Yes no matter what we do when we do our best. It’s never good enough and there’s always someone to put us down.
So there you have it. A short insight into my life as a single parent.
Are you a single parent? Please share your journey below!
